I bet he comes in French.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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