Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
