i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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