Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize