She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
