I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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