HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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