I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
