Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
