Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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