Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's always time for handjobs
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize