we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Mom said you looked used
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
