Pants 0. Shit 1.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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