I need help removing her.
well you can't waste a boner
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
