her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i now understand why vodka
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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