Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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