dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
