he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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