My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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