just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
