worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
