I must be too annoying 4 u.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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