I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
