i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
