you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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