'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
