You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In America we eat man semen.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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