i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
