I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm always down for nudity.
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