Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
