When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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