I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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