She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
