I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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