Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
