Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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