We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
