No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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