Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
