and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
