Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
