omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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