I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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