Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
