Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
