Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
