So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
