Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
