Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
