if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
ok first of all what the fuck
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
