I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
