On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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