IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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