the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well you can't waste a boner
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
