They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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