So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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