her vagine was all disorganized.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
