Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
