Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my being single is dangerous.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
