so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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