Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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