is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
