I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
