love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
