I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Randomize
