My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
