nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
