Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Where is the hickey?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize