Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
